His last Word
by 221BluePoliceBox
Summary: Sherlock always has to have the last word.
1. Sensitive Issue

**Outburst**

**I got this idea today when I went to see The Hobbit and I knew I had to write it. This is a lot different from my other Sherlock stories Trigger and God No! Please feel free to visit them and leave me a review. I would really love to hear what you think of this and if you can guess the part of the movie that gave me the idea for this story and I will PM you to tell you if you were right!**

**I know this was originally meant to be a oneshot but I get a lot of ideas for random unrated ideas for Sherlock so I thought it would be fun to keep them together.**

**Disclaimer**

**Sadly it's not mine!**

John sighed it got stronger the closer Sherlock moved towards him. He had tried to ignore it but he couldn't, he had to say something he had to... He didn't know how to say it, it wasn't the kind of thing you could just blurt out. He also didn't know how Sherlock would react, he had no idea how to approach this. He finally decided as Sherlock moved closer to him again that maybe the best way to do it was to come right out and say it. Sherlock wasn't very good at subtly so maybe that was the best way to approach this.

"Eh, Sherlock there's something I need to tell you mate, there really is no easy way to say it. I wasn't going to tell you but I think it's something you deserve to know. I wouldn't feel right not telling you," John said. He knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop himself.

"What are you talking about John?" Sherlock asked impatiently as he stopped typing on John's laptop to look at him.

"Wait, hang on, is that my laptop?" John demanded.

"Yes, and before you say what ever it is you so desperately need to say I should point out that your latest blog has two grammatical errors. If you are going to insist on bombarding the world with your insights you could at least make them grammatically accurate. The last thing we need is yet another generation of adults unable to grasps the fundamental basics of the human language," Sherlock said.

"You went through my files?"

"Yes obviously," Sherlock said in a bored tone.

"It's password protected! How many times do I need to tell you to ask me before you take my laptop?" John demanded.

"Getting off topic yet again John, what is it that you need to tell me? Can you tell me quickly I really do have a lot to do," Sherlock said impatiently.

John stared at his flatmate a moment before he spoke, he was even more determined to tell him now. He had to tell him, he couldn't go on like this. He had to tell him and deal with the consequences afterwards.

"Right eh..." John tried again.

Sherlock sighed impatiently picking up John's laptop heading towards his bedroom.

"No wait, I really do need to tell you this, you need to hear this," John said.

"For something that is so important to tell me you are taking a long time to get to the point, therefore it must be something you don't want to tell me and..."

John cut him off before he could really get started. "Yeah, alright, can you just let me say what I need to say?" John asked waiting for Sherlock's albeit reluctant nod before continuing.

This was it, there was no going back now, he had to say it. "Sherlock...I...your breath stinks," he said at last he said it. He looked carefully at Sherlock waiting for his reaction. He had to tell him, he was his friend so he had no choice but it didn't make it any easier. He tried to think of the nicest way possible to say it but the truth is there is no nice way to tell someone they have a bad breath.

"I know," Sherlock said causing John to blink in surprise. He wasn't sure what reaction he was expecting but it definitely wasn't that.

"You know?" John asked confused.

"Yes, it was an experiment. Have to do something to pass the time," he said with a shrug.

"What was the experiment?" John asked inspite of himself.

Sherlock went on to explain the basis of his experiment and the influence different chemicals had on the smell of your breath. The whole thing left John wondering why on earth Sherlock would want to know that but he had long given up asking after that experiment he'd seen him preform with the human foot from St. Bart's.

"Why didn't you brush your teeth or at least take a mint as you have clearly finished your experiment, what ever it was?" John asked

"I already told you what it was, it..." he began before Jon cut him off again.

"Yeah alright Sherlock not the point, the point is why did you continue to sit there with your breath smelling like that?" John asked.

"It was part of my next experiment," Sherlock simply said.

"What?" John asked confused.

"Waiting to see how long it would take you to tell me," he answered.


	2. Extract

**Extract**

**This is the second chapter of these unrelated oneshots based on life with our favourite detective and blogger. I will try and update this series as often as I can. As always please leave me a review, I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**Disclaimer**

**Sadly it's not mine!**

John should have known it was coming. He may not have Sherlock's brilliant skills of deduction but even he should have known that it was coming. That was maybe a slight exaggeration, afterall who expects to come home and find this...but he should have known something was going to happen. Then again living with Sherlock Holmes it couldn't really be that much of a shock, could it?

Sherlock had been restless for days, even more so than usual. He had long given up asking him what was wrong. He had learned to block out the clattering and banging that accompanied Sherlock's nightly activities.

He thought no more of it, until he came into the flat that night. "What the hell are you doing?" John demanded, a question he found was fast becoming a catchphrase as Sherlock's actions required verbal questionings at least once a week.

"Shut up i'm busy," Sherlock snapped returning his attention to the mirror again.

John watched as Sherlock opened his mouth and placed a finger against a tooth wincing slightly as he did so. "Get out! You are distracting me, get out," Sherlock said suddenly.

"What are you doing?" John asked watching him carefully.

"Dealing with something, leave me alone you are distracting me," he said again.

John signed slightly as he at least knew what the problem was. What he didn't know what led to the situation currently unfolding infront of him. "Sherlock, stop! Why don't you go to a dentist like a normal person?" he asked. He moved quickly towards him to take the string away from him that he currently had tied to their kitchen door and the other end he was about to tie to his tooth.

"Don't like dentists, can never find one that I trust with sharp instruments near my mouth and the few that I have, have told me not to return so I need to address the issue myself," Sherlock said acidly clearly pain made him even more rude and dismissive than usual.

"Sherlock for God sake you cannot extract your own tooth, you need a dentist, a proper dentist. Take some painkillers and I'll give you the address of my dentist that you can call in the morning, alright," John tried to reason.

"No, this will be fine will take seconds and it will be out and the pain will be gone so I can actually focus again," he said stubbornly.

"For a smart man you can be amazingly stupid you know that?" John snapped.

"What, how?" Sherlock demanded looked offended at John's statement.

"You really think ripping your own tooth out is going to make the pain go away? You would be leaving a raw open wound which trust me will hurt a hell of a lot more than the tooth does at the moment not to mention the risk of infection," John answered stiffly.

"You're a doctor, you do it then," he reasoned his tone sharp as the throbbing pain in his tooth vibrated through his skull.

"No way!" John yelled.

"Why not?" Sherlock demanded.

"Because I am not a dentist and even if I was I would not take your tooth out in the middle of our kitchen!" John yelled.

"Then get out and leave me alone I have work to do," Sherlock snapped picking up the string again.

You can't seriously be about to do this after everything I said If you catch an infection from doing this, which the chances are bloody high of given the state of this flat, which we still need to talk about by the way! You wont be able to work for at least a week until it clears up. What are you going to do then? You know what you get like when you don't have a case for a few days never mind a few weeks," John said pulling out his last reserve to get Sherlock to see reason on this.

Sherlock paused as he thought this through. "Fine, I'll go see your dentist in the morning. If he proves as useless as the rest i'm doing it my way," he said dropping the stuff on the kitchen not bothering to tidy it as he stalked off to the couch flopping himself down dramatically.

By four O'clock that morning John had long given up on sleep as Sherlock complained and made unnatural amount of noise as he moved around restlessly downstairs. "You know what I've thought about it, come here and I'll take the damn tooth out if it will let me get some bloody sleep," he said only half joking as his eyes burned with exhaustion.

"No point now John, only a few hours till the dentist opens we'll see how this one is," he said as he turned his attention back to whatever it was he was doing that was causing such a bloody awful racket.

"God sake Sherlock," John muttered as he went back upstairs to try and get some sleep.

He had only just dropped off when Sherlock burst into the room throwing a pile of clothes at him. "Come on hurry up, it's time to go to the dentist," he announced.

John groaned as he shooed Sherlock from the room so he could get dressed thinking that one day he really was going to kill his flatmate.


	3. I'm not your housekeeper!

**I'm not your housekeeper!**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, please keep them coming they really mean a lot to me. I love to hear your thoughts on this especially as it is different from what I normally write, but good fun!**

**Disclaimer**

**Sadly I still own nothing. If I owned Sherlock we would see the legendary cluedo game!**

"You have got to be kidding," John uttered as he stepped into the flat. He was not only concerned with the tidiness of the flat, it would be impossible to live with Sherlock if he was but this was ridiculous! The place was such a mess John couldn't put up with it anymore. He refused to clean it alone, especially when the majority of the mess wasn't his and he certainly wasn't going to let Mrs Hudson do it.

"Sherlock?" he yelled suppressing a shudder as crumbs crunched under his feet as he walked through the flat. He was certain he hadn't lived in such squallier even in his student days. "For God sake," he muttered as Sherlock failed to appear. He frowned as he heard water running in the bathroom. The flat was a mess but Sherlock still ensured he took a bath he thought filled with irrational anger.

"At least there is one thing in this flat you keep clean," John snapped at Sherlock as he emerged from the bathroom. "Just so you know, activities like going for a bath and washing your hands doesn't count as cleaning the bath or the sink."

"I am aware of that thank you," Sherlock said looking at John in confusion as he tossed his towel into the ever growing pile of dirty washing after drying his hair off.

"Then how can you not be aware of the state of this flat?" he burst out.

Sherlock sighed and gave the place a cursory glance. "It's fine, could make use a bit of a tidy but overall I'd say it's fine. Now if you'd excuse me i'm going to dress," he said with a shrug.

"No seriously, are you seriously telling me you don't see it, or smell it? You, you who notices everything?" John demanded before Sherlock could leave.

"Smell it?" Sherlock enquired after sensing there was no point in him leaving.

"Yes smell it, the place is starting to smell and it most likely is from the crap you keep in the bloody fridge," John stated.

"Experiments," Sherlock corrected.

"What?" John snapped.

"Experiments, not crap," he mildly corrected.

"I don't care what the hell they are. I mean seriously, look at the place. There is crap everywhere, we're running out of clean dishes and i'm assuming clothes. It's horrible Sherlock" We can't like this, we need to do something about it," he stated.

"No we don't," Sherlock said simply.

"What do you mean?" John demanded frustratedly.

"You are the only one that it bothers, so why should I do anything about it?" Sherlock reasoned.

John stared at him in disbelief as he felt something snap inside him He refused to yet again clean up after Sherlock's mess. He very nearly found himself using what he and Sherlock had come to call Mrs Hudson's catchphrase. If Sherlock wanted to live in this mess, fine. "Fine," he hissed to his flatmate.

"Right then," Sherlock said turning to go again glad that John had at last decided to stop focusing on such trivial issues. Or not so it seemed as John started again.

"If you want to live like this fine. I am not cleaning it and neither is Mrs Hudson! You can't live like this forever. When the mess and the smell get too much and you are ready to help me sort it let me know because until then i'm not touching this place," John said.

"As you wish," Sherlock said heading to his room.

True to his word John refused to clean the flat though it was starting to get harder to do. The place was disgusting he failed to see how this couldn't be bothering Sherlock. He shuddered as he opened the fridge and his nostrils were invaded with the smell of rotting food, though that could be coming from the grime on the plates that were stacked by the sink. He couldn't take this any longer, he had to clean it. He sighed as he ran the tap to start with the dishes.

"Thank goodness, the flat was in dire need of cleaning," Sherlock commented when John eventually finished.


	4. Unwanted Conversations

**Unwanted Conversations**

**Thank you all for the reviews please keep them coming as I really want to know what you think of this and to know that you are reading. I got the idea for this chapter from a comment made in The Empty Hearse. **

**Disclaimer**

**Sadly it's still not mine!**

"Get out," Sherlock said abruptly causing John to look up in confusion.

"What?"

"Get out," he repeated irritatedly.

"Why?" John asked.

"I have things I need to do and I can't do them with you sitting there and that pointless drivel you insist on having on.

"Well I'm watching it and I was here first so i'm not moving," John said turning his attention back to the television.

"Stop being so difficult," Sherlock complained.

"Me? I'm being difficult? You are the one trying to evacuate me from my living room without giving me a good, no actually without giving me any reason at all," John snapped.

"So you are in here because you are wanting to watch this pointless television show that is so predictable it is almost embarrassing. Don't worry i'm not going to tell you how it ends. I now know that people with lesser minds such as yourself are able to be surprised by the outcome."

"Yes, so shut up so I can watch it," John hissed purposely turning the volume up.

"Well John, this was a pretty pointless argument," Sherlock said with a smirk.

John managed to resist asking what he meant by that as he returned his attention to the television. "You bastard," he uttered as the end credits rolled on screen and he realised he had no idea how the episode had concluded.

"Now you have no need to be in here as you said yourself you were only in here so you could watch that on television and don't worry I will keep to your warnings and not tell you how it ends," he said with a smirk.

John shook his head in frustration as he walked out the room. When he was gone Sherlock sighed and picked up the phone dialling. "Hello it's me," he rolling his eyes as they responded, this never got any easier.

John walked into the living room an hour later to make a cup of tea. "Sherlock you wanting a cut of tea?" he asked pausing as he noticed Sherlock was on the phone. It was strange seeing him on the phone at all but even stranger that he was using the landline. He had often wondered why they had it in the first place as it was never used.

Sherlock tried to wave John out of the room but he ignored him walking into the kitchen putting the kettle on trying to work out who Sherlock was speaking to.

"Yes I'll call in a few weeks, yes two weeks today same as it always is. No I doubt I will visit soon. Alright I'm going now, yes, yes bye mum," he said when he could get a word in and hung up briskly before she could begin speaking again or insist that he spoke to his father again to say goodbye.

"Hold on, you put me out the room so you could phone your parents," he asked unable to suppress the smirk and giggle.

"Yes, they insist Mycroft and I call. It's that or risk them visiting."

"How have you been having chats with your parents without me knowing?"

"Once every two weeks, yet again highlighting your appalling observational skills."

"Well I have to say, I never had you down as one to check in regularly with your parents," John said with a smirk.

"Shut up it's not something I enjoy it's something I endure because it needs to done, apparently. You should think about that John, when was the last time you called your parents? It really is awful of you John they want to talk to you and you say I have no manners," he said taking his cup of tea off the counter and sat on the couch leaving John standing in the kitchen staring after him in shock. He sighed the next morning as he pulled out his phone and dialled.

"I know you would phone them, really you are so easy to manipulate and predict," Sherlock said as he flopped down on the couch.


	5. The Doctor

**The Doctor**

**I am so sorry I have been so slow in updating this! I promise to update faster in the future. Thank you for the reviews please keep them coming I really want to know you are reading this and what you are thinking. Please leave me a comment however small it is so appreciated!**

**Disclaimer**

**I don't anything!**

Of all the things Sherlock could have on Mycroft nothing could top what he currently had against his brother. He had to be careful,he couldn't waste this. He had to use it to its full advantage. He had found the information by pure chance. He wasn't a believer in chance but for this he was willing to overlook that small fact.

His brother, who practically was the British government. The one who claimed to be 'the smart one' and was only able to accept things that had cause and reason, in short his brother who could not abide anything there was not a concrete reason or explanation for, was a Doctor Who fan!

This wasn't a case of indulgent nostalgia, something Sherlock had no time for but knew many others did. It was not a show he had watched in his youth before becoming aware of how implausible the show's premise was. He knew Mycroft had never watched Doctor Who growing up therefore it was something he currently enjoyed and chose to watch.

0000

"Do I have to suffer through this mindless drivel again?" Sherlock complained as John settled infront of the television.

"No you don't, you can use another room if you don't want to watch it but I do, so could you do me a favour and shut up!" John said turning his attention back to the television.

"John it is a lot of rubbish as I've said before it is simple not plausible," he complained sighing loudly as the sound of the door opening preventing him from launching into his weakly rant about Doctor Who.

"Arguing again, you really are like a married couple," Mycroft said mockingly.

"What do you want?" Sherlock snapped.

"Your assistance," he said dropping a file onto his brother's table.

"Why should I?" he demanded.

"Because you wont be able to resist, now if you'll excuse me I can't stay things to do," he said making to leave but pausing as the television caught his eye. "I like that episode," Mycroft said in passing as he left the flat.

"What are you so happy about?" John asked glancing at Sherlock.

"Nothing, nothing," Sherlock said though wasn't able to suppress his grin.

"No, what is it? You never look this happy after seeing your brother," John said suspiciously.

"Nothing John," Sherlock said smiling again as he headed to his room allowing John to watch the remainder of Doctor Who in peace Mycroft was right, this was a good episode.

When he got the opportunity he searched Mycroft's house and found he had recorded Doctor Who and the ones he had recently watched showed up in his deleted items, this really was too perfect.

0000

"Merry Christmas Mycroft," Sherlock said smoothly as he tossed a present at his brother.

"What is this?" Mycroft asked sceptically.

"A Christmas present, isn't that what normally happens at Christmas? People buy each other pointless presents they don't need and eat far too much?" Sherlock asked.

"Go on then open it," their mother urged.

"Alight," Mycroft said ripping the paper off the present to reveal a figure of the tenth Doctor action figure staring up at him.

"Merry Christmas Mycroft," Sherlock said with a smirk.

It wasn't until later when he opened the box to examine the figure closer that he found the note Sherlock had placed behind the action figure.

_Seems as I have always known I am 'the smart one' as you are the one who watches a children's television show and plays with action figures._

_-SH._


End file.
